Vacation and anxiety???
I am taking some time off to hang out with some friends over the Memorial day weekend and it occurred to me that I was quite anxious about it… Why would a much needed vacation filled with relaxation, some fishing, and some light traveling cause me anxiety? I have always wondered why anticipation for good times can also cause anxiety. So here is my theory:
I think that fear and excitement are very similar in the manner in which they are expressed. When you are afraid or experiencing fear your heart rate increases and you start to wonder about what will happen next. Many times it leads to an adrenaline rush in the case of a full anxiety attack. Excitement seems to have many of the same effects. There is the nervous anticipation. Heart rate increase when you start wondering about what you will be doing for your vacation and this seems to trigger a lot of the similar physical and emotional responses as fear. as bizarre as that is, it seems that excitement and fear are very closely related.
I think the second factor that plays into this is the alteration of daily schedule. Many people with anxiety disorders enjoy a daily schedule with some semblance of ordered chaos. No matter how stressful that particular schedule is, it is safe and known. When you go on vacation, the schedule goes out the window and now all of a sudden, the question becomes, “what now”. This of course leads to obsessions about the vacation and what may or may not go wrong and away we go.
I am curious if anyone else can relate. I have had some of my worst anxiety attacks while on vacation. And still, to this day, that seems to be when I am at my worst with the anxiety. LOL. Ironic as that is…
Everyone have a great Memorial Day weekend!
Later,
OE
ocdengineer
Great point! I think it also has to do with being anxious that anxiety and negative thoughts will ruin the trip that you are really excited for (with the excitement already causing the adrenaline spike). I know that seems to be the case for me, at least. My anxiety issue started up in February this year, and so I compared my feelings during a trip I took in June to Arizona (marked increase of anxiety) to how I felt on my trip in June to California the previous year, when I really didn’t have any illogical anxiety and intrusive thoughts.
The difference seemed to be that post anxiety, I was worried about all the thoughts I was having, how it wasn’t letting me appreciate this great trip I was on and give me that cleansing feeling of being on vacation. Whereas, the year before, I didn’t even know to worry about something like that.
So, it’s really all perspective, but I believe that if we were able to go for however many years without having a full-out anxiety issue (because there is a difference between being an anxious person and having an anxiety disorder…before we may have just been anxious people), that we can get there again–though of course, be much wiser–with gathering knowledge about anxiety and with the expression of our worries. No matter how long it takes–that’s just the learning process.
Stephanie,
I apologize for taking so long to reply. After digging through 450 posts while I was out of the country, I finally found only a couple posts that were actually related to my original blog entry… SPAM. Hate it!
Anyway, since this post, I took traveling to whole new level and have been all over the world. It was indeed horrifying, but also gratifying. I went to England, Ireland, France, Germany, and India last year. I faced this fear head on and seem to have won, but now that I am not traveling as much, a simple two day flight in the states can spark a bit of anxiety. I think it ultimately comes down to practicing and putting yourself out there.
The more we avoid our fears, the stronger they become. I truly believe that and do everything I can to put it into practice. Thanks so much for your response to my blog entry. I hope you get a chance to read some of my other posts as well.
Take care,
OE