The Ramblings of a "Mad Man"

All,

I thought it might be valuable to share the different meds and remedies that I have tried over the last decade and change. So, here is a list of everything I have tried, how long, and how it worked. We’ll start from the beginning.

Remeron – I took Remeron when I was first admitted the the hospital after what I can only explain as a nervous break down. It was really just a series of panic attacks that led me to think I was losing my mind, but regardless, I ended up in the hospital for 3 days and this is what they gave me. It made me tired while I was taking it and it didn’t seem to help much because I had a huge fear of leaving the hospital and sure enough all my anxiety returned when I left the hospital. I kept taking it for a few weeks, but it didn’t do anything for me other than make me tired.

I believe my next medication was Paxil and Buspar in combo. My mother was taking it at the time and I naturally thought that since we had similar genetics and similar issues that maybe we could get better via similar meds. Not so much. I had massive anxiety attacks from taking Paxil. I took it for a couple weeks but it made my anxiety so bad I could not stand to take it anymore. I stayed on the Buspar for another few weeks and I didn’t really see much out of that either. I basically felt the same with or without the Buspar.

Next I tried Zoloft. Had a Friend who took that and it worked well for him. Same story as the Paxil. I had the same reaction. Increased Panic and Anxiety and it didn’t go away quickly.

Zyprexa was the next medication I tried. If you are not familiar, this one is an antipsychotic. Apparently my GP was running out of guns and threw out the grenade to see what happened. Well, it didn’t cause me to have panic, but I became very depressed and slept almost constantly. When I wasn’t asleep, I was crying like a little school girl with a skinned knee. It was awful. By far my worst medication experience bar none. That is no way to live.

Xanax was the next option, but at the time I was still hopped up on other meds so I didn’t even give it a week before I decided to throw away the meds completely. And so began my search for the holistic remedy.

After some reading I found B vitamins are supposed to help, so I took them and they didn’t really seem to do much, but I didn’t feel bad, so I kept on taking them. Still full of anxiety.

I then found St. John’s Wort. Interesting herb… I thought that if it was natural, then it couldn’t have the same side effects as the antidepressants, but over time it did. It took longer to get to that super anxious state, but at the end of the day the St. John’s Wort made things worse.

I then tried Kava. I started with the tea by Celestial Seasonings “Sleepy Time Extra”. Great tea. It is unfortunate that it isn’t around anymore, at least not with Kava because it was great. I drank it every morning and night and it helped to calm me down. I think the Chamomile in it also helped ease my stomach distress that was pretty normal with my anxiety.

I then took Kava pills, but they didn’t seem to do much in general. Of course, i later found out that I was taking a bunch of ground up leaves and not the medicinal portion of the plant. The tea was still helping though. I drank the tea for years and got into meditation and for years I was OK.

Now, to be fair. I did dump my long term girlfriend at the time who stressed me out and I also began smoking cigarettes and drinking heavily. The year of Kava tea was great, but alcohol and nicotine took over from there and I survived on those two substances for the next few years. This go really ridiculous to the point where I had to stop otherwise I would end up ruining my life and I had also met my future wife. My alcohol use was out of hand. So I quit drinking. Back came the anxiety!

Out came the Kava. This time I did more research and found a vendor who I trusted. I got the capsules and took it for about year before my anxiety was too much to deal with. It helped, but the anxiety just got worse with time and I couldn’t take enough of the Kava. I also found Melatonin and Valerian for sleep works very well as well as Peppermint tea for an upset stomach. Anyway, I finally decided I needed to go to the doctor. I was scared to death, but he was reasonable and prescribed Xanax only since my history with SSRIs was not good. I found it worked very fast and very well for my anxiety, however I was afraid to take the full 1.5 mg he prescribed me, so I only took .5 mg per day. It worked for a couple weeks then I need to take more, so up to 1 mg and soon I was taking his dose after about 6 weeks. I did go in one more time later and he bumped me to 3 mg/day however I never took over 2, so I told him to hold off later on because I was building up a huge reserve. I still take this today. It was what turned out to work for me. I am not sure if it will always work, but for over 2 years now, it has worked great. I can live my life, so if I have to take this medication for the rest of my life in order to live a full life. So be it.

I still use the melatonin and Valerian when I need some sleep because Xanax only helps with sleep fro a finite amount of time. I also drink herbal tea at time, but usually because I am legitimately sick. I don’t like taking meds as ironic as that may seem…

Anyway, that is my story and I am sticking to it. I know I probably missed some meds in there, but I can’t remember them. Oh yea, Welbutrin. I took that and it worked the same way as the Paxil and Zoloft. I may think of more later. If I do, I’ll add them.

Later,
OE